Morph: Be More Courageous

A few months ago, I always complained about my job. When I came home from work, I felt something was bothering me. The reason was not because of where I work or because of salary problems. Because the place was good and the people were also good.

After thinking about it, the cause was inner satisfaction, meaning, and authenticity. For some reason, I felt stuck at that job. I felt like I had lost those three things: inner satisfaction, meaning, and authenticity.

The most frequently complained about was authenticity. It was important. So far, I have worked to earn money. It was a common thing. But after a while, I realized that it was not what made me happy, but authenticity and love. I need to be an authentic self.

After reflecting and considering, I resigned from that job. Yes, this was quite a tough decision. However, I did not want to keep working only because of the money. I felt like I had to involve my heart fully, not half of my heart anymore. My backup plan was only one: to do a job I love with my heart.

The problem: the plan needs to be specific.

As a result, I spent days thinking about the job, but I did not know. I had not found a suitable job yet. I knew it was strange because while others were chasing the highest possible salary, I chased authenticity and deep inner satisfaction.

Sometimes, I said to myself, “You were so stupid to resign at all.”

My parents were also a bit disappointed with my decision. They expected me to stay in that job. But I was still with my decision. Luckily, they were not too pushy.

For days, I was jobless. But I worked on something like creating content for fun. Creating content could be a serious job, but it seemed too heavy.

Apart from that, my parents and siblings were concerned and several times offered information about job vacancies that I might try. But I turned down those offers because I did not like them. If I try, it ends up working half-heartedly.

I kept waiting. Without realizing it, the money in my wallet kept running low. In that condition, I did not know where to get the money. Even asking my parents felt embarrassed. I could not do it. Moreover, my parents have retired.

Unlucky! Going days without any money turns out to be unpleasant. I could not do anything.

I started to think again about the backup plan. Then, suddenly, a question arises, “What kind of job do I love?”

Ah! I felt like I had an insight. I had to make a decision. The question led me to the job of writing or creating content. I enjoy writing content. I did it wholeheartedly.

Working as a creator must be taken seriously. I started to be grateful when someone watched my video content. I felt happy. There was a feeling of happiness that is difficult to explain.

From day to day, I became more enthusiastic about creating content. I also committed to consistently publishing content every week.

Several days later.

I remembered that my wallet was still empty. No income yet. My enthusiasm slowly weakened. I started to think about another job with a certain income.

“But I’ve already committed. I want to be a full-time creator first,” I said.

Ouch! I found a dead end again. Money was an obstacle again. If we think realistically, we need money. We could not be separated from money. But still, money is not God.

Day after day, my mind was always filled with questions, “Do you want to keep doing this? What about your future? Isn’t money better than authenticity?”

As a result, I stopped creating content. I hibernate for a few weeks.

Long story short, I watched a podcast video where the guest star was Raditya Dika, an Indonesian writer. I watched it seriously because I have idolized him since college. He was a good role model in creating content.

Radit once said, “Do what you do best, and money will follow.”

Wow, those words seemed to pierce my heart, who had lost enthusiasm for creating content.

I tried to absorb Radit’s words. Then, I took the brave step of creating content again. I chose it with my heart. I decided to enjoy life without income for a while.

Now I realize that it’s not just money that I’ve been looking for, but inner satisfaction, meaning, and authenticity. I start writing content from my heart. It’s okay to live minimalist first. The important thing is that I am happy to share and help many people through content.

Yes, even though I haven’t got income yet, I am committed to being serious about creating content to help and be an authentic self. Focus on doing my best with my heart.

We need to have the courage to make decisions.