Heal Your Shame

I was a shy person for several years. I couldn’t meet new people, old friends, or crowds. At first, I didn’t understand why it happened. Those conditions make me lose many opportunities.

From there, I tried to find the root cause and the structure of the shame I experienced. It turns out that the shame I felt had a cause and effect.

Have you ever felt embarrassed?

Yes, almost everyone has felt embarrassed. Feel embarrassed for specific reasons or because of certain situations. The shame of specific reasons can come from trauma or past events that still exist in the memory. So that when you do the same thing in the present moment, the feeling of shame appears again.

For example, a person is embarrassed when presenting materials in front of the class because he had tried it before but ended up blanking it or being laughed at by the audience.

If we are embarrassed by the situations, it might be because we are not suited to them.

It becomes clear that there is a cause for this feeling of shame. Apart from those two things, other causes make us feel embarrassed. We need to find out the cause. We must address these causes because the effect makes us not move forward.

The shame keeps us from moving forward because we cannot unleash our full capabilities. If a person can reconcile with his trauma and overcome his embarrassment of presenting in front of the class, who knows, he will become a great presenter. Because once or twice trying is not enough. Once or twice, feeling embarrassed is not enough. When we try to endure that shame, we will become increasingly immune to it.

Like pearl oysters that feel pain when foreign objects enter them from outside their shells, but because the shell resists, it becomes invulnerable, and it can turn these foreign objects into pearls, thanks to the help of certain substances that it produces.

We can also be as patient as pearl oysters. We need to be patient in healing this shame until we can finally become a new figure with high value, like pearls. You deserve to live a happy life without being bothered by shame.

There are several simple tips that you can apply to overcome shyness. You can use it when you feel embarrassed, want to do something, or want to meet someone.

Change the question from, “What if later I am embarrassed and laughed at?” to, “What if I am brave, confident and people like my appearance?”

Imagine or visualize yourself being in the situation you want to face. Imagine you are in that situation comfortably, confidently, without any obstacles. Keep repeating until the visualization is bright and as if it has happened. Then do. Come to that situation. Feel what you feel. Then, evaluate the results.

Those simple tips can help you free yourself from embarrassment. At least you can keep moving forward, even though you still feel it. It doesn’t matter. Keep trying until the embarrassment completely disappears.

But we also still have to be ashamed. I mean a common embarrassment. Such as being embarrassed if you violate traffic, go against your parents, say something rude, etc. Without this shame, we would behave negatively.

Well, it’s time for us to be braver, more confident, and free from the shame that hinders and harms us.