Heal Your Anger

I’m not the type of angry person. Yes, even though when I was little, I was angry that I slammed the door. But when I got older, I started to change, and I don’t think I ever got angry so expressively anymore. Even if I am annoyed, I try to suppress it.

I remember I felt annoyed with People close to me and almost getting angry. This anger is because they don’t understand me. However, I also want to be understood and supported.

Luckily, this anger didn’t explode. Again, I suppressed it. I suppressed it so often that I became good at controlling it. This anger doesn’t have time to cause damage because it is quickly released. There’s no point in being angry. Anger won’t solve the problem.

Finally, I accept different points of view. I started to appreciate that everyone has a different point of view. I need to accept and adapt. When I feel not understood and not supported, I try to accept it. Then, I started to move to be myself, whether or not there was support from the people closest to me.

Indeed, each person’s way of controlling emotions is different. Some can withstand it, but some cannot, just because of a small problem.

Triggers for anger are usually always related to ego. It is about ego again. For example, when I am annoyed because I am not understood. I realized that the feeling of being understood comes from the ego. That’s why I learn to understand other people before they understand me.

As Stephen R. Covey said in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “Seek to understand before we are understood.”

If you feel angry, try to rationalize it and ask, “Will this anger solve the problem, or vice versa?”

Okay. Let’s heal ourselves from anger, whether it is conscious or unconscious anger. Whether small or big. Whatever the form of anger, what is clear is that being angry will not solve the problem. It is like putting out a fire with gasoline. The fire of (problems) will grow if we spread the fuel (anger).